October 11, 2011
No one denies the fact that lessons taught by others are precious and gifted. Those lessons are the ones that help you grow-up, see beyond larger sights. I actually had pride because I liked learning from others, and was happy to find anything that I can learn from someone. I strongly recommended real lessons in the real world, rather than from books. I was confident to say that the society, and the people met in person to person can teach you much more than 100 books read.
I just loved everyone. Without the distinction of sex, the exciting moment was when I was getting to know a new person. As much as I liked people in general, I expected a lot from each person. I was anxious to know about someone, to be close with many people and to eventually experience more, and learn more. I knew that there are many different people in the world, and many of them can be life teachers.
But, something was going wrong. I knew how to be a modest person, and how to learn from others. However, I never got any chance to learn from myself. In otherwords, I soon lost chance to learn from my own life experiences. As I thought again about this problem, I soon realized that what I call experience (of meeting new people) was just an event, not any different to having an interview with a famous celebrity. I was too busy admiring others, I forgot about myself.
Soon, I realized it was not any different to the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” Sure, learning from others is a wonderful thing. But, learning from others required looking back at oneself. Actually, that was what should come first, and before any other life lessons. But I was forgetting the most important part.
Having interests in diverse people’s lives and wanting to learn about them is certainly not a bad thing. But I should always remember that the relationships I make are not always meant to give lessons. Instead, when I start admiring someone, it makes distance and makes it harder to make deeper relationships.
The biggest problem I face now is that I am very unstable. I feel depressed and am very unsettled. Because I lost myself. Now I am not sure who I am, I can’t get a grip of any hint of who I am. It feels as if I am all unbarred.
To find myself again, maybe I should start by asking, When did this all go wrong? The answer may not be simple, but deep consideration about myself and the environment I am in is crucial. So it is time to stop looking up to others, and start being confident about oneself.
October 8, 2011
During these seasons, it starts to miss home, asks for food more often, feel very depressed, and worried, starts counting D-days, everything seems fun but studying, wants to watch movies more anxiously, and feels sick
Usually it wasn’t that of a stress. The exam result did not affect my moods. But this time I feel pressure and most of all, I am very worried. While I STILL don’t study hard.
I hope exam end soon.
October 8, 2011
On that day, I was by myself. I didn’t feel any misery even when I had nothing to do but to study. It was obvious since my friends met in high school had lectures to attend, and my friends from junior high had exams. This was what I already expected; that I should spend time by myself.
Feeling quite bored studying math, I could not restrain myself from calling some of my friends. I knew that they should be studying and I was not allowed to disturb. Nonetheless, I took out my phone and texted my old friends. Actually they were not the ones who I knew for so long, we first met in 2010. Even so, they were the ones who I trusted the most and shared the most with.
Every time I visit home(while I usually stay at a dormitory) I find myself wandering around. I usually visit home on weekends, and when I do, I always meet them. We meet, chat about daily lives, and talk about each of our schools. Time passes, and by the time we notice, it is already late night. Being with them, I can feel how blessed I am to meet these friends.
But even being with these friends, loneliness does not disappear. We shared that loneliness. Being with my favorite people, why is it that we feel lonely?
Had no wonder thinking that it was only my sensitivity since we haven’t met for a long time. However, what we talked about was quite sad and gloomy. We were concerned about our future, and the fact that things change too fast. We talked about a friend who leaved and started attending school at America. We talked about our new classmates and what is so different about them. We did not talk about any adults. It may be too consulting to talk about those issues.
Why were we so lonely? We had new friends and still had our family, and we still met occassionally. After graduating from junior high, we certainly were parted from many friends. But the new friends were not able to fill up that emptyness, even though I believe I have spent enough time with new guys. So there was the answer. We were lonely because of the change. The fact that everything change, it was a very lonely thing.
I sometimes think about my position in life. I went through many changes and dramatic events, however there are even more left. The only thing that does not change is the fact that I am me, myself. Everyone change and every relationship changes. Although I want to hold on to it longer, things change too fast and maybe this loneliness is inevitable.
October 2, 2011
Is it better to complain in person than in writing?
Living with others in a society, there are times that people feel unsatisfied with other people or things. Then, people start to complain about it to the source of the trouble. In my opinion, people should be complaining in person rather than in writing to make no misunderstanding and to receive a direct response.
To begin with, it is effective to complain face-to-face since it lets people complain the problem effectively, letting the others acknowledge the importance of the subject. In writing, knowing other’s feeling is limited and sometimes it leads to misunderstanding each other, whereas seeing someone’s face awakens what she or he is trying to tell. For instance, there was an experiment on two groups of people working at a furniture shop. The first group received a mail from their customer complaining about how the sofa she bought was easily broken. The mail included some blames towards the workers and mad them unpleasant. The other group had a customer visiting the place complaining with the same sentences used in the letter. But this time, the workers were actually feeling sorry to the customer. After the experiment ended, there was an interview towards the workers. While the first group members still did not understand what the customer meant because it was not easy to notice in written language, but the second said that they could easily notice the problem.
On top of that, when the complaining is done in person, people can earn a direct response and help the problem get solved quickly, reducing more problems. Especially when the problem is serious, people wait for the answer with more anxiety. If someone complains to the other in person, they might have a chance to talk about the problem and solve it in the moment. For example, I once wrote an e-mail to a shop about late delivery but never got a response, and the delivery was still behind time. After waiting for a few months, I went to the shop myself and complained about it. I got to find out why it was always so late, and they made a promise they will be more careful. It was better to ask in person than waiting long for an uncertain response.
To conclude, I believe that complaints should be done in person than in writing because it lets others recognize the problem and give quick reaction to complainer. Although complaining may have difficulties, if someone decides to do it in person, the result will be much better than done in writing.
October 2, 2011
Farhan’s dad got a letter from the principle that says a friend of Farhan is ruining Farhan’s life.
While his father is scolding Lancho, Farhan cannot say anything because he knows how hard his father supported himself. He fails to stand up to his father, as always.
Students learn methods and formula everyday, but they loose their youthful passion. They loose their dreams and maybe themselves. Farhan, for instance, does not even feel uncomfortable about becoming an engineer when his real dream is a photographer. Lancho does want to become an engineer and loves engineering, but even he feels bored when it comes to classes.
This is the picture of a class in one of the most famous and well-systemed college.
The professor who is responsible for that pressure says the student was too weak. The professor is not able to see that not everyone is strong enough and that human beings are weak creatures. He does not know how to tolerate different types of people.
In the end, everyone is happy. That is one of the biggest fascination of the movie. However, we still have some things to think about. Lancho and his friends were happy after following their own dreams and strong will. Even under an unfair and impersonal system of the society, they did not give up and they trusted themselves.
Are we honeset to ourselves? Are we living ‘our’ lives? Aren’t we being chased by other’s dreams and what others think is valuable?
Sometimes I take some time to think about those questions. However, I soon continue on with my life. Maybe I am lucky to live a life that I can satisfy with. Or, maybe I do not even know what I truly want, and maybe that is something different from my own life.